sometimes in our lives we encounter many different obstacles and i remember someone telling me "it's fated that way coz God knows you can handle it". my ride this year has been quite smooth despite slight bumps, but that's alright, it make things more interesting i'd say because troubles are indeed the spice of life.

i dont really know how to get started on this issue i have to let out, but if you're familiar with the malay idiom "diludah mati emak, ditelan mati bapak" dats exactly how i feel about the whole situation. contrary to popular belief (ye ke?), i have a very kind heart and i tend to forgive easily even when i dont intend to. see?

something from the past cropped out of no where recently and i intend to make peace with it, forgive myself and move on with life. but in order for me to do that, i've some damage control to do. another issue however will arise from this damage control which i intend to do, and unless it goes all "hush hush" it'll lead to more problems to myself and my loved ones.

and so, i'm torn. by right, im not supposed to do damage control at this stage but let's just say i'm guilt stricken and in order for me to sleep at nite, i have to make the peace offerings. on the other hand, if this thing gets blown out of proportion, i'm good as dead (ok, a lil melodramatic there) because no one in the right mind would put something precious at risk just to patch an old hole.

i'd love to discuss this with the right person. of course i have friends, but i need to speak to one who's not gonna go all judgy on me. i need an honest opinion, nothing biased. at the same time i cant risk hurting more people with my action. please dear God, give me a sign...