this morning while i was busy throwing out trash fr my work area just for some mental therapy, i received an email from a girlfriend with the subject: guide to a better life. i jus had to put the things i was at on hold because i was so curious of the essence of her mail. i mean, who wouldn't wanna know a secret to better living rite? especially me, since i've been at wits end a couple of times lately. truly depressing but nvm.

anw, back to her mail, it was extracted from a book written by someone who died of cancer but he had written it before his passing, as a guide for his wife and children. the list consisted of easily 4dozens of things to do but i'm only gonna touch on what's relevant to me especially "dont have negative thoughts about things you cant control". sometimes i think of myself as a control freak because i want to be able to control things around me - sometimes i'm too careful, most of the time im dictative because i dont trust people to do anything their way even if they'd learn from their mistake, i dont care because i dont have time for people's mistake especially if it's gonna have consequences on myself. but how do i let go? i'm not sure if i'd ever be able to because you can never be truly reliable on anybody, ever.

so, at the end of the email, i had to agree to a couple of things but "better life" is too subjective to have a manual to follow through. i'll still be me.