today is already the 13th day of Ramadhan (betul tak?), time flies really fast, but not as fast as money flies (at least for me) especially nearing festive season.  never mind that, because what you give you get back (but could be in many other forms, insyaAllah) not that im particularly hoping for anything in return. 

main reason im here today is to express things i could not say.  maybe im not good at sharing my feelings, perhaps i dont want to trust anyone anymore with some things.  but mostly its because i dont know how to say it and not to be perceived wrongly by others. 

a fren once said to me, "jangan bermonolog dalaman" perhaps because its not healthy kot.  i normally keep my thoughts to myself, and she sorta knows it.  but for me, it's harder to say it out loud and letting other hear my thoughts when there are so many underlying reasons for each and every thought.  how do you say it right?  

in my circle of people, there are a few of them who like to say things but they seldom do it right.  they either hurt others in the end, or make themselves look rather stupid, snobbish, silly and sometimes they even sound selfish.  of course i do not know what exactly they're trying to say, i dont care but what matters is the first thing that comes out of their mouth.  'somethings are better left unsaid'.  i totally agree.  be super careful what you say.

in my mind, i have things i wish to share, things i wanna seek advice for, things i wanna vent out, things that i rather not say at all.  i dont want good things to be perceived badly.  i dont want secrets being used against me.  perhaps i just do not want to judged.